


Time is ungraspable

by orphan_account



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, RipFic, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 06:43:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14159046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	1. Chapter 1

Rip eventually became bored without Jonah.  
The pain of having no one there to love him was unbearable.  
So he pulled out his penis and pissed into his toaster.

"Nooo."Cried Rip. He was filled with buckets of teen angst.

He put on Jonah's favorite dress to bring back memories of the time when he would jump off a cliff and of the time when they were children frolicking in the flowers when they were giddy teens.  
Rip heard footsteps.  
"Sorry , I was upstairs." Jonah said as he made himself some breakfast.

Rip started tearing up. "Honey Boo-Boo… I'm unhappy…"

 

Jonah glanced up at him and accidentally spilled his coffee.  
"What's wrong RIIAAAAUUGH.Shit.My coffee."asked the Jonah.

"I don't know.I miss the good old days when we would frolicking in the flowers when we were giddy teens."

Jonah looked down at the freshly-made toast he was eating. "This is really good toast. Where'd you buy the bread?"

Rip threw up a little. "You-You don't even care do you?" The time master began to sob grossly with his bad self.

"Da fak bro. Y'all cray skanks up'n dis bitch. You creepy ass modderfakers.gangnamstyle50centpewdiepienshit.20$20$." Jonah replied.

"YOU KNOW I HATE IT WHEN YOU GET LIKE THIS JONAHARVY!"Rip screamed as he flew on his rainbow unicorn off into the distance sobbing grossly with noodle arms …

To be continued…


	2. Chapter 2

Rip regretted leaving his Jonjonbabbu.

He knew that leaving the one he loved hurted. It hurteded even more than when Jonaharvy yelled at him so hurteded-fully like that.

Rip went to a corner store and bought a rainbow cupcake. He swagged back home through the flowers, in his pretty, long, flowing dress, his curls bouncing in the wind.

He tripped in dog shit.

As he got home, Jonah was watching Strawberry Shortcake on the expensive flatscreen.  
"This gives me ideas." Jonah said, writing something down in a notebook.

Rip ran over to the cowboy in tears, and fell on one knee, handing Jonah the now dog shit-covered cupcake. "I'm in lesbians with you, Gideon!" Rip said. 

"MMM. I LAVS ME SUM CHACOLAT CUPACKS!" Jonah rapped as he popped the dog shit in his mouth. "Gideon?" Jonah asked.

"Scott Pilgrim. (I) Read the whole series." Rip responded. 

"This cupcake tastes like dog shit," Jonah stated. 

"I'm sorry about yelling before. You know how I get when there's coffee in my trousers." Jonah stated once more.  
...To be continued.


	3. Chapter 3

Rip leaned on Jonah's shoulder and snuggled him on the couch in his absolutely FABULOUS GLITTERY NEW SKIRT.

They were watching the series of My Little Pony:FIM on the big expensive flatscreen television.   
"NO RAINBOW DASH, DONT EAT THOSE!"Jonah shouted, crying.   
Rip sighed, relieved that everything was fine again.  
"Jonny, I have something to admit..."  
"Spill the shit , bruh." Jonah shouted gleefully.  
"You may have eaten toast from a toaster I pissed in." said Rip.  
"Oh , Okay."  
"Oh, Okay?Why aren't you reacting negatively?"   
"Lots of things happen Rip.Remember the other night when you had sour cream with your tacos?" Jonah asked, sipping his fancy tea.  
"Yeah, those were gre-"  
"That wasn't sour cream." Jonah interrupted.  
Rip threw up a little, again.He just remember the cupcake from earlier...  
The song "I Live In A Tree" by The Knife started playing on the radio.  
Rip wrapped his arms around Jonah.   
"This song gives me the mega hotts," said Rip.  
Rip suddenly produced a bag of some sort and gave it to his petty lover. Jonah opened it to find clothing of some sort.  
ithin it there was a choker, whip, ball gag, and really small pink shorts with "RIPILICIOUS" in big red, glittery font on the butt-cheek area.  
...  
"DAAAAAAAMN, BITCH." Jonah stated.  
"Lets have CASUAL SEX." said Rip.  
Rip and Jonah then broke into a musical number singing "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga, and then Rip had CASUAL SEX with froyo instead of Jonah.  
The end.


End file.
